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The Sex Toy Institute

If you are new to using dildos, knowing how to use them properly is essential. In this blog post, I’ll show you the best way to use a dildo on a girl and give her incredible orgasms at the same time!

Alternatively, you might be a girl just looking to learn how to give yourself mind-blowing sexual satisfaction.

Whatever the reason you are here, you are firstly going to learn the difference between a dildo and a vibrator. Then you will learn how to choose the right dildo for a girl.

Most importantly, next is how to use a dildo on a girl!

Then later on I will get to the best positions for using a dildo on a girl, followed by the different materials and shapes of available dildos.

If you want to learn everything there is to know about using a dildo on a girl, read the whole article from the beginning

The first half of the article is about how to choose the right dildo for your girl.

The second half of the article is about how to use a dildo on a girl

Also, there’s no need to feel any embarrassment in using a dildo as nearly 80 % of all women in the USA own at least one dildo.

Use the table of contents to go straight to the specific information you need to know.

How to use a dildo on a girl
All guys need to read this article!

Difference Between a Dildo and A Vibrator

Firstly, a Dildo is not a Vibrator.

A Dildo is used the same way as a penis. It is manually moved and its position and depth are controlled by the user.

Many dildos are designed to look like a penis and some (the more expensive ones) look and feel pretty much like the real thing.

Vibrators have electric motors in them and operate (mostly) by batteries. Their humming can be noisy and they are not ideal for use in situations where there are children or a flatmate in the next room.

Dildos are intended to be used primarily by inserting them into your body. Vibrators are usually intended to stimulate the clitoris and other exogenous zones, outside the body.

1# How to Choose the Right Dildo for A Girl

Before we get to how to use a dildo on a girl, I will cover how to choose the right dildo to use.

There are so many types, sizes, materials, and designs of dildos, that choosing the right one can be a nightmare.

You take one look at the product page of one of our recommended dildo suppliers and you’ll most likely be overwhelmed!

Fortunately, I’ve got you covered. I will go through all the things you need to consider, step by step.

Is Her Dildo Going to Be for Anal or Vaginal Use?

How to use a dildo on a girl
Anal Starter dildo available at lovehoney.com
King Cock 8 inches
King Cock 8 ” available at lovehoney.com

This is the first decision you have to make because it is going to determine how you make all the decisions from here on in.

The main point to consider is that if you use a dildo on a girl anally it is going to be a lot different than if you use a dildo on a girl vaginally.

For anal use, your dildo needs to be smaller, preferably smooth and it must have a base (flange, balls, or suction cup).

I’m going to assume you intend to use the dildo vaginally but I have included a specific section on anal dildo use, later in this post.

Does She Want A Large or A Normal Size Dildo?

King Cock Mega Chubby Realistic Black Suction Cup Dildo 7 inch
King Cock Mega Chubby Realistic Black Suction Cup Dildo 7 Inch
BASICS Suction Cup Dildo 6 Inch
BASICS Suction Cup Dildo 6 Inch – available at Lovehoney.com

If you’re buying this dildo for your girlfriend or wife, the easiest way to determine the size she wants is to ask her.

On the other hand, if you’re a girl buying a dildo for yourself, you probably have a bit of an idea as to the size you want to try.

As a guideline, (and I have a lot of experience with this!) most girls like a dildo that is slightly larger than the average size penis.

For 21 studies in which researchers measured stretched penises, the average erect penis length was between 5.1 and 5.5 inches. Most men believe that the average length of an erect penis is greater than 6 inches. This belief is due, in part, to several often-cited studies that relied on self-reported measurements, with means of about 6.2 inches.

The average penile circumference was 4.8 inches

National Library of Medicine

Guys, you might think you’re hung like a porn star but the averages above say you most likely aren’t! So choosing a dildo for your girl that is slightly larger than your penis is going to be the best way to go.

Girls, I’m going to assume your sexual curiosity over the years will have given you a pretty good idea of what your body can accommodate. Be guided by what you think is the best size for your body.

Guys and girls, don’t be swayed by the size of the dildos you might have seen used in adult films. The actors in those movies spend years training their bodies to do what you see them do.

Sometimes, bigger is not better. Remember you don’t need a huge penis dildo to orgasm! It’s knowing the best way to use it that will count in the end (so to speak!)

My advice: As a safe guide, go for a dildo that is 6 inches long and has a circumference of 4.8 inches

Would She Prefer Realistic or Novelty Dildos?

You have several choices here but I’ll narrow it down to two.

Does this girl you’re going to use this dildo on just want a substitute cock? Something a bit bigger than what is currently getting from you but essentially a realistic penis?

Or does she want something completely different in shape and looks?

If you are thinking of going down the more common path and buying a penis-shaped dildo, you have quite a selection available.

You can get everything from just a basic penis-sized piece of hard plastic through to a realistic penis-shaped and skin-colored, dildo. The more realistic (and hence more expensive) dildos are usually flexible, have balls attached, veins all around them, and a large head.

The alternative is to choose a fantasy dildo. These can slightly resemble a penis but are usually brightly colored and come in a variety of shapes. Often they are larger than a penis-shaped dildo.

My advice: Unless your girl is looking for something really different, stick with a realistic, penis-shaped dildo!

Will She Want Her Dildo to Be Soft and Flexible or Hard?

njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo
njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo – Available at lovehoney.com

Johnny Vixskin Realistic Silicone Dildo
Johnny Vixskin Realistic Silicone Dildo – Available at shevibe.com

In my experience, girls prefer the most realistic dildo, the more realistic the better! Isn’t that right ladies?

So guys, if you think you are going to get away with choosing some cheap, hard, plastic version of a cock – think again!

The most realistic dildos are semi-flexible, but hard enough to resemble an erect penis.

The one exception I would make is if your girl is wanting to experience a G Spot orgasm, the njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo is the absolute bee’s knees! There is nothing on the market that even comes close to this baby! Unfortunately, being solid stainless steel it is quite expensive but oh what an exquisite experience to use if you can afford it.

My advice: Go with the most realistic dildo you can afford – (you can thank me later!)

What Is Her Favorite Dildo Made From?

My rule of thumb is that if it looks cheap and costs a lot less than similar dildos, it’s probably made from plastic or maybe even rubber. Do not buy dildos like this as the material may well be very unsafe to insert into your body. Only choose and purchase dildos from a reputable sex toy retailer.

The retailers we recommend on this site are 100% proven to sell only the best quality and safest sex toys.

Silicone is the most common material that good-quality dildos are made from. Dildos manufactured from silicone come in varying degrees of firmness, shapes, and sizes. Silicone is also very easy to clean and is nonporous so it doesn’t absorb any bacteria.

Glass dildos are another favorite of mine. They are super easy to clean and no, they don’t shatter as they are made from borosilicate glass. They have no flexibility but they can be heated or cooled for what we call temperature play. Trust me – that adds a whole new dimension to your dildo experience!

Some glass dildos are so fancy they could pass as artworks!

Stainless steel dildos are very heavy but are fabulous for hitting your girl’s G spot. They can also be used for temperature play. They too are very easy to clean but can be a bit on the expensive side, especially for a beginner.

My advice: Go with a silicone dildo when you are just starting out. You can always have fun trying the other types later.

Does She Have a Favorite Shape Dildo?

Lovehoney Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 7 Inch
Lovehoney Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 7 Inch
Tracey Cox Supersex Glass Dildo Set
Tracey Cox Supersex Glass Dildo Set – lovehoney.com
BASICS Suction Cup Dildo 8 Inch
BASICS Suction Cup Dildo 8 Inch – lovehoney.com

Silicone dildos come in many different shapes and sizes. All you really need to decide is whether you’re going to use a straight dildo or whether you are going to use one with a slight curve.

The straight dildo will be a substitute for your cock, a curved dildo will give you a better chance of hitting her G Spot.

If you buy a dildo with a flange, it can be used in a harness at a later date – just saying!

Many will have balls on the end of them which gives you something to hang onto while you’re thrusting the dildo in and out of her. (see detailed instructions below).

My advice: Go with a straight or very slightly curved silicone dildo, as per those in the photo above.

2# How to Use a Dildo on A Girl

Ok – now we get to the nitty-gritty. Pay attention people, this is the ‘special sauce’ (so to speak) of this blog post.

Get Her to Relax

Set the right mood
Set the right mood

You wouldn’t try to have sex with someone who is tense, so don’t think you can use a dildo on a girl who is not relaxed.

Setting the right mood is essential if you want to succeed in helping your girl to orgasm.

Low-level lighting is a good start and perhaps a few drinks to help both you and her relax. You might try watching some porn (works for me every time!)

You’ll need a comfortable room, away from flatmates or children. A quiet place, where you have plenty of time to work your dildo magic!

Warm up Her Vagina

Gentlemen don’t just dive into vaginas when they want to have sex. Like any sexual activity involving the vagina, it needs to be ‘warmed up’ first.

Try gently rubbing her clitoris, preferably using a water-based lube so your fingers slide smoothly over her.

Insert a couple of well-lubed fingers into her vagina to let it know there’s more to come.

If you are with a mature aged women, it’s worth remembering their vaginas often do not get as wet as others so using lube is a no-brainer.

Try Shallow Thrusts First

Shallow Thrust diagram
Illustration inspired by badgirlsbible.com

When your first attempt to use a dildo on a girl I recommend you start with shallow strokes.

The obvious reason being you don’t immediately know just how far you can insert the dildo without causing discomfort.

The majority of sensory nerves in the vagina are in the first 2 – 3 inches, so it makes sense to work on this area.

If you have chosen a dildo with a particularly large head, these shallow thrusts are sure to get your girl’s juices flowing!

The next step is to speed up the rate of the thrusting and watch her start to quiver with delight.

Try Deeper Thrusts

Try Deeper Thrusts
Illustration inspired by badgirlsbible.com

Now that she is used to the size of the dildo you have chosen, it’s time to increase the depth of the thrusts.

For me, there is nothing quite like the feel of a hard, large cock pounding into me. That feeling of fullness and the long, deep thrusts gets me off almost every time.

A large, firm dildo will have the same effect.

Use plenty of water-based lube and grab the end of the dildo. (This works particularly well if you have chosen a dildo with testicles.)

Carefully (at first) insert the dildo as far as can be comfortably accommodated. Slowly increase the speed of the thrusts and be guided by your partner’s reaction.

If you are using a long, large dildo on a girl, be careful to not push too hard against her bladder as it might give her the urge to pee. There is no way she is going to orgasm if she is concerned about wetting herself. On the other hand, if you or your partner are into ‘golden showers’ you could add a whole new dimension to your sex life when you use a dildo on a girl.

Find Her G Spot

Stimulating the G Spot
Illustration inspired by badgirlsbible.com

If you’re going to use a dildo on a girl you are going to want to be able to locate her G Spot.

This is a super-sensitive part of the vagina associated with the clitoris. The best way to locate it is to start with your hand facing upwards. Insert your middle finger into her vagina, and stroke the top of the vaginal wall backward and forwards.

With a bit of practice, you should be able to have your girl moaning in ecstasy.

The next step is to substitute your dildo where your finger was. Apply gentle pressure on the dildo so the head rubs against the top of the vagina. Just position your dildo upwards towards the bladder and continue doing this with constant motion. The results should be pretty spectacular!

My recommendation is to use a hard, curved dildo for this type of stimulation. My clitoris responds far more readily to a forceful rubbing with a hard dildo rather than a semi-rigid silicone dildo – just saying!

Rocking Dildo Technique

Rocking Dildo Technique
Illustration inspired by badgirlsbible.com

This is another variation you can try when you use a dildo on a girl.

As you insert the dildo, raise and lower the angle you are inserting it. So on the insert thrust, you might apply pressure so the head of the dildo rubs against the base of the vagina. On the withdrawal stroke, you rub it against the top of the vagina as per the G spot technique above.

Alternate between the two and give a bit of variety to your girl’s vagina! She’ll love you for it – trust me!

I’ve always found a softer straight or curved silicone style of dilo works best for this method. By applying sufficient pressure you can almost have the same effect as with a hard dildo.

Rotating Dildo Technique

Rotating Dildo Technique
Illustration inspired by badgirlsbible.com

Yet another variation to try when using a dildo on a girl.

As you insert the dildo try rotating it left and right. This works particularly well if you have a textured dildo with veins or raised nodules.

By pushing firmly against the vagina wall, especially upwards towards the G Spot, you can enhance your girl’s response and possibly intensify her orgasms.

Anal Stimulation

Anal Dildo use
Illustration inspired by badgirlsbible.com

Ok, I know what you’re thinking but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Anal use of dildos is very common, particularly for gay men. There are a super number of sensitive nerves in the anal region so why would you waste them? Besides, why should guys have all the fun!

To use a dildo on a girl’s anus you are going to need a thinner style silicone dildo with a BASE ON IT and lots of lube!

Start very slowly with a fairly soft, flexible silicone dildo. Gently work the dildo in and out of the anal passage.

Depending on experience levels, many girls take time to get used to having a dildo inserted into their anus. Persevere and the results can be truly rewarding.

Double Penetration

Double Penetration
Illustration inspired by badgirlsbible.com

Once you have been able to use a dildo on a girl’s butt, this enables you to try the joy of double penetration.

I have to tell you many women, myself included, love the feeling of not one but two cocks in them at the same time. It’s a fact that some of the most-watched adult movies feature this exact scenario!

It is an exquisite feeling to have both holes filled at the same time. But not every girl (or their boyfriends) like the idea of a third party in the bedroom but there are several ways around this.

You can try a butt plug in her anus and a dildo in her vagina

Or perhaps a dildo in her anus and you in her vagina (Try reversing this if she is up for anal sex)

If your cock is too big for anal sex, use an anal size dildo in her butt and a normal dildo in her vagina. Variety is the key here guys and gals!

Tip: Remember anything used anally needs to be thoroughly cleaned before it’s used anywhere else.

Fill Her Up

Bad Dragon very large dildo
bad-dragon.com make a range of custom made large dildos

Many girls love the feeling of having their vaginas ‘full’. For me it’s like having a massive cock filling me up, pushing against every nerve in my vagina.

Guys, if you want to use a dildo on a girl to get this effect, I recommend using a larger than average size dildo. You really don’t have to do much except insert it!

I find it makes my clitoral orgasms much more intense just by having it there.

Temperature Play

Temperature play for dildos
Try heating or cooling your dildo

Ever rubbed ice cubes on your girlfriend’s nipples or clit? Remember how her nipples went hard because the sensitivity around her nipples was increased.

Well, the same effect can be had when you cool or heat a dildo.

For best results, you are going to need either a glass or stainless steel dildo. (Silicone dildos just don’t have the same effect!)

The easiest and safest way to change the temperature of a dildo is to place it in a bowl of either hot or ice-cold water. Do not put it in the oven or microwave.

Always test the temperature of the dildo by putting it on the back of your hand, before putting it anywhere near your girls’ vagina or butt.

Sometimes when you use a dildo on a girl’s vagina and the dildo is nice and warm, it can relax the vaginal muscles. The benefits are a more accommodating vagina and a better experience all round. Try it – you can thank me later!

Best Positions for Using a Dildo on A Girl

To get the most out of using a dildo on a girl, you need to find the position that works best for her. Different dildos may require different positions as do different techniques.

I have outlined a few of my favorite dildo positions but the best position is the one where your girl gets the most enjoyment.

On All Fours

Have her get on all fours and use the dildo as if you were fucking her doggy style.

In this position, you can achieve deep penetration of your girl’s vagina or anus.

Lying on Her Back

Probably the most common position to use a dildo on a girl. Have her lie down on her back and spread her legs. For deeper penetration, get her to bend her knees and pull them up to her chest.

This gives the best possible chance of your girl having an orgasm because her vagina or anus (or both) are easily stimulated.

Using a Suction Cup Dildo

Suction cup dildos have a very large base to grab. The plus side of this is that no matter how much lube you might have on the dildo itself you can rock, twist, insert and guide the dildo wherever you want.

Ladies, because suction cup dildos can be mounted on any hard surface, vertical or horizontal you can have a ‘hands-free dildo’ orgasm. Check out my extensive guide on how to ride a suction cup dildo – you’ll be glad you did!

My Final Summary

Sorry to break it to you guys, but no matter how much you learn about how to use a dildo on a girl, you’re never going to know everything there is to know!

Use what I have set out in this article as a guideline but the real secret is to keep experimenting. Talk to your girl and discover what really turns her on.

What works for one girl might not work for another so you need to to keep trying new things.


Kandi

Kandi Anderson

With over 10 years experience in all aspects of the adult entertainment industry, I know an awful lot about sex toys and how to use them!

Everything from toys for personal pleasure to toys for BDSM, I’ve been there and done that!

As a director, producer and sometimes performer, you can be sure the advice I give is factual and honest.

I share with you the industry’s professional tips and secrets so you can have the most erotic experience possible!